Thoughts upon returning to the US

Got back on US soil last Wednesday. In the last 6 days, some reflections.

Things I missed about the United States
– half and half for coffee
– roads without potholes
– tap water
– air quality
– access to Pandora
– central heating and air conditioning, even though it’s wasteful
– clothes dryers, even thought they are ALSO wasteful
– beer that isn’t Kingfisher. oh lord, it is nice to drink real beer.

Things I didn’t miss about the US
– removing your shoes at the airport. we’re the only place still doing that shit. richard reid, you had better be rotting in jail, you’re so stupid. in India, they have soldiers with big guns pat you down but you don’t have to remove your shoes and frankly, i prefer that.
– paying $8.81 for a box of cereal, a banana and some blueberries. new york, die.
– vacant people having vacant conversations within earshot. this probably happens in india, but in languages i don’t understand, so it’s easier to pretend they don’t. or maybe there are just a LOT of dumb people in southern california. sorry LA, you have everything going for you EXCEPT you have lots of dumb people. dan calls them “waterheads” which i like a lot.
– paying $5 for a SmarteCarte at the airport. again, everywhere else, these are free. it’s a damn cart, people. just let me use it for 5 minutes, i promise i’ll return it.
– checked bag fees. india – check as much as you want, as long as it’s not overweight, it’s free. here, $25/bag. you have to be kidding me.
– no real food past security…how come there’s no deep fryer at the airport bar past security. all i want is some chicken wings, and there’s only an oven? total fail. this is AMERICA, we serve chicken wings at bars. get it right next time.

more as i think of it.


About Rob

Twitter @robertkatz
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3 Responses to Thoughts upon returning to the US

  1. Anish says:

    Wow, sounds like you miss India already! But I bet it’s really sweet not having to drink Kingfisher Premium, Draught, Strong, Ultra, Blue, Red, etc. Drink up!

  2. Mom says:

    Cheerio to all your observations, Rob; your comments remind me of a few more contrasts between India and the USA:
    *I was so happy to have whole grain bread again – in any form! Indians offer Westerners white sliced bread (for breakfast and afternoon tea) – devoid of taste, texture, and nutritional value. It is served with crusts cut off – the only part of the “Wonder Bread” that may offer some flavor – frequently cut into geometric shapes that just disolve like shaving cream!
    *Without digressing too much, let me just say that I returned from India with a new respect for public bathrooms in the USA (even porta-potties). Respect is not a strong enough word!
    Welcome back to the USA – can’t wait to see you! xxxooomom

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