Got back on US soil last Wednesday. In the last 6 days, some reflections.
Things I missed about the United States
– half and half for coffee
– roads without potholes
– tap water
– air quality
– access to Pandora
– central heating and air conditioning, even though it’s wasteful
– clothes dryers, even thought they are ALSO wasteful
– beer that isn’t Kingfisher. oh lord, it is nice to drink real beer.
Things I didn’t miss about the US
– removing your shoes at the airport. we’re the only place still doing that shit. richard reid, you had better be rotting in jail, you’re so stupid. in India, they have soldiers with big guns pat you down but you don’t have to remove your shoes and frankly, i prefer that.
– paying $8.81 for a box of cereal, a banana and some blueberries. new york, die.
– vacant people having vacant conversations within earshot. this probably happens in india, but in languages i don’t understand, so it’s easier to pretend they don’t. or maybe there are just a LOT of dumb people in southern california. sorry LA, you have everything going for you EXCEPT you have lots of dumb people. dan calls them “waterheads” which i like a lot.
– paying $5 for a SmarteCarte at the airport. again, everywhere else, these are free. it’s a damn cart, people. just let me use it for 5 minutes, i promise i’ll return it.
– checked bag fees. india – check as much as you want, as long as it’s not overweight, it’s free. here, $25/bag. you have to be kidding me.
– no real food past security…how come there’s no deep fryer at the airport bar past security. all i want is some chicken wings, and there’s only an oven? total fail. this is AMERICA, we serve chicken wings at bars. get it right next time.
more as i think of it.